November 27, 1999
Officially decided to have a BA
December 27, 1999
Consultation with Dr. Linder
December 30, 1999
Consultation with Dr. Creasman
January 03, 2000
Paid my $500 deposit to Dr. Linder
January 13, 2000
Signed and mailed in my consent forms to Dr. Linder's office
February 09, 2000
Had my first mammogram
March 06, 2000
CBC and urine pregnancy test
Day 16-March 15, 2000
I am nervous as hell! Every night, I have either a nightmare about my surgery, a dream that I am shopping for tops the day before my surgery or that I've already gone through with the surgery and I'm playing with my boobs while I stare at them in the mirror. I joined an email support for women who are having their Bas in March, on Monday (03/13/00). It has been extremely helpful. I have met two women whom have the same surgery date as me and another woman whom has the date before. I'm very excited for my surgery. I'll have big boobies, be in LA and off work and school for a week. Plus, Jan is flying out to be with me and will stay with me for that whole week while Brendan goes back to San Jose for school. I am more afraid of the pain and surgery than anything. Jan says that I am scared of the unknown. I think she is right. The good side is that my surgery and medications are paid for and I'll be mostly healed by my birthday (June 19th). I'll be 24 years old. What a nice even number. I am going to have an awesome summer wearing string bikinis and halter-tops.
Day 15-March 16, 2000
Today started as a great day. The sun was shining and it was warm outside. I got to work early and started my Environmental Biology homework. I chatted with a few ladies on the March support BA group. Sheila (the receptionist) had to leave for a few hours to go interview at a temp agency so I answered phones and made SCNs. Then around lunchtime, I asked Brendan if he wanted to go to lunch. Brendan and Rob drove over to my work to pick me up. We all decided to go to the In-n-Out in Milpitas. At the 237 and Mathilda intersection, all the lights were out and were flashing red. We were in the left turning lane to go onto the 237 freeway. We stopped and the opposite side of traffic went. Then it was our turn. The two cars we could see on the other side had stopped. The third lane over was empty. Brendan turned to get on the freeway. All of a sudden, I saw a Jeep [Cherokee] blowing through the intersection in the third lane over. My gut instinct knew that the car was going to hit us so I turned to Brendan, grabbed him and buried my head into his lap. I felt the impact from the Jeep hitting us. I heard the damage being made and I felt us going everywhere. It was horrifying. When we stopped, I got up to look around. The Jeep was smashed into my door and seat. Brendan was fine. His side wasn't hit at all. Rob was sitting behind me. I turned around and saw Rob in the seat behind Brendan. We all checked each other and made sure we weren't hurt. Brendan got out of the car to look at the damage. It was devastating. He yelled and cussed at the lady, asking her what she was doing and why didn't she stop. I sat in the car with Rob. He began to hurt so I screamed to Brendan that Rob was hurt. I stood up in my seat and screamed at the lady. I couldn't believe the car. It was demolished. I wasn't hurt so I got out of the car and helped Rob out. Luckily, my digital camera was in the car with a disk so I started taking a bunch of pictures. I called Mallar (my co-worker) and told him to bring more disks. The cops and the ambulance came. The police took all of our stories and Rob went to the hospital in the ambulance. I couldn't stop being hysterical. I was crying and shaking. I couldn't even think straight. We spent the rest of the afternoon in the emergency room with Rob. He ended up with a fractured rib. My neck and back started to hurt so I got checked out. The doctor said I was fine though-thankfully! Brendan and I went to see the car in the tow yard later. It wasn't a great experience. We had to take all of our stuff out of it. The whole front and driver's side of the car looks flawless. It was still clean and sparkly. The other side and rear just made me want to cry. It was such a shame that a beautiful car (99 Z28 Camaro) like that was destroyed in only seconds because some lady wasn't paying attention. Brendan and I are both upset and dazed. Rob is still sore. It is going to take a long time to forget and get over this. I keep recalling the whole crash. It makes me scared and sad all over again. I am not stressing over my surgery anymore. I am not even thinking about it.
Day #14-March 17, 2000
Today is St. Patricks's Day and exactly two weeks from my surgery. I'm starting to get a little nervous again but I'm still really shaky from the accident. I'm really depressed about the whole thing. Anytime I see Brendan thinking about it, I get sad all over again. I posted the pictures on the web. Everyone has been very supportive. I am still on my every-other-day tanning schedule. I know I won't be able to tan for a while after my surgery. I haven't worked out in two weeks. I've been so tired and caught up in my homework. I don't even have time to clean my room. It drives me crazy. I want to workout for the next two weeks, but I will have to wait and see how my schedule goes. I haven't been watching my fat intake either. I've been slacking on everything. What happened? I also need to take my before pictures. Today was the last day for me to take my birth control pills. I hope I don't have horrible cramps next month!
Day #13-March 18, 2000
This morning, Sil, Kurtis, Brendan and I all went to eat breakfast. After, we went to a Chevy dealership to look at the SS's on the lot. Brendan is thinking of getting an SS instead of a Z28. I sat in a new Corvette. I can't wait until Brendan and I graduate from school and move to LA. I did my homework, dropped off clothes at the dry cleaners and did the laundry. Later on that night, Brendan and I went out with Jan and Lance to Dave and Buster's. I had fun. Everyone got to drink except for me. No alcohol for me because of surgery. While we waited for our table, we all sat at a bar and had a few drinks. I had a virgin strawberry daiquiri. At dinner, Jan and Brendan's ribs weren't cooked all the way so they got their meals for free. Before we left the table, we ended up having a food fight with Brendan's leftover French fries. That was fun. We played pool. I was on Lance's team. He showed me how to play. I am debating on increasing my ccs and getting a DD instead of a D. I don't want to be too big, but I don't want to be disappointed when they are smaller cause of being under the muscle. I'm not sure of what size to go to.
Day #9-March 22, 2000
I went to the chiropractor for the first time ever, last night (Dr. Howe). The migraine that I had for four days is gone, but I still have pain in the back, right side of my neck. My mood has improved dramatically. Brendan and I had dinner with Lisa last night. She was asking me all about my surgery again. It always puts me at ease when I talk about the surgery with other people. I am looking forward to the surgery part to be over with though! Today, Lisa and I are getting our hair done. I'm going "Heather Kozar" blonde. Lisa is dying her hair red. I am nervous for this too! I have never had my hair dyed professionally before. I have had my hair all-natural for years. So many changes in one month! I am looking forward to this summer. The weather has been beautiful-sunny and warm. I hope it stays this way. The less clothes I have to wear, the better.
Day #6-March 25, 2000
Yesterday was the worse day of my whole BA experience. I was at work alone. Sheila was on a job interview and Mallar was on vacation in Hawaii. Carol (my aunt) came up to me and told me that she "didn't approve of what I was doing next week." I was in shock. She wasn't supposed to know. I asked her not to tell my mom because I wanted to be the one to tell her. She said okay. I only told a couple of people that I work with and a few family members-all whom swore to secrecy. I think I know whom the person was who blabbed to another person who in turn told Carol. Anyway, if my aunt Carol knew, then I had to tell my mom about my surgery right away. I wanted to be the first to tell my own mother. If I didn't call her soon, then Carol would. So instead of waiting until after my surgery to tell my mom, I ended up calling her from work that day. My mom reacted just the way I thought she would react. Even though I explained to her the whole surgery process and how I had taken precautionary steps by having a mammogram, she was still hysterical. She said that I was an idiot and I am making a stupid decision. She even said that I was a typical California girl now since most women in California get their boobs done. My mom was being so ignorant and irrational. But at least now she knows and I am the one who told her. After I spoke with my mom, Carol called my mom to inform her about "what I was having done." Why can't Carol just come out and say Breast Augmentation? It's not a bad word. A lot of my family members are always known for not being direct about anything but boy will they talk about you behind your back! My dad called me from Alaska. My mom had called him screaming. My dad and I just joked about it. He understands that it is my body and I am adult enough to make my own decisions. My mother wont get over this for a while. Why can't people mind their own business? Jealous I guess. I got a lot of support from Brendan, many close friends and the March BA Discussion email group. My mother and Carol have never really been in my day-to-day life. Neither one of them has taken the time to get to know me. I don't need their approval and never looked for it in the first place. I will have the last laugh! Last day to take Arnica and vitamin e.
Day #4-March 26, 2000
Yesterday, Brendan, Sil and I went to Vallco Mall. I really wanted a pair of hoop earrings. They are so Disco! I ended up going into Pacific Sunwear and Fredericks of Hollywood. I also eyeballed a lot of storefronts. I will be so happy when my surgery is over with. I saw so many things I wanted to wear. I will be so excited to go clothes shopping again. I can't believe I only have four days to go! Tonight, I want Brendan to take a bunch of "before" pictures of me. I am going to start my webpage today.
Day #3-March 27, 2000
This morning, I went to Dr. Howe's to have another readjustment. My neck is feeling so much better! Dr. Howe gave me an article to read on breast implants. It made me a little uneasy. The part of the article that made the most uncomfortable was this quote, "Because freon gas expanded when placed in higher altitude, the airborne implant also expanded under pressure, and began leaking. Dr. Patten's experiment proved that flying was hazardous to any implant patient's health." I asked Brendan about what he thought about this part of the article. He said that I shouldn't worry about my implants leaking while riding in an airplane because the cabin is pressurized. Also, we had both learned from two doctors that implants could take up to 300 pounds of weight and pressure. So I would be perfectly safe to fly. I did enjoy reading the article though. It gave me some new things to think about and to keep me aware of all the risks involved. I don't like information sugar coated, especially when it comes to my body. I also went to Planned Parenthood this morning to pick up my HIV test results. They are negative. I faxed the results in to Dr. Linder's office when I got to work in the after noon. This afternoon, I started second guessing my surgery again. I have been doing this back and forth for the past week. I kept getting this image in my head of my boobs looking like an orange in a tube sock after I have kids. And after I go through with this surgery, I have to accept the fact that I will probably have to go through more surgeries (touch ups or I may develop excess scar tissue and need it removed). Now just this week, I have got a runny nose and keep sneezing everywhere. I haven't been sick in a long time. Why must I be sick days before my surgery? I am not as excited for my surgery anymore. I just want to get this over with.
Day #2-March 29, 2000
Today was hell at work. I scrambled to finish all the orders. I wanted to make sure that everything shipped before I left. I ended up staying at work until 8 PM. Brendan came and visited with me for a couple of hours. I am really starting to get excited about my surgery again. I received the June 1999 Playboy in the mail today (The one with Heather Kozar as PMOY). Looking at her gives me inspiration. She is so beautiful! After work, Brendan, Lisa and I went to eat dinner at Pizza Chicago. Lisa rooted me on about my surgery and wished me good luck. I can't wait until we go shopping. I also got my website up and running today. It's a 100% functional. I just have to add the Links page. I plan on updating it maybe next week when I have more time and while I'm recovering. I also had a chance to clean the room and I packed for tomorrow.
Day #1-March 30, 2000
Here I am sitting in the guestroom of Brendan's parents' house. We made it safe to LA. I brought my Furby with me. He kept getting me weird looks from other people on the plane. Today at work, I got bombarded with a bunch of orders. I did all that I could until I had to leave at 1:30. I emailed everybody letting them know which email address to send my mail to next week. I went to Dr. Howes's (chiropractor) at 2. I had a deep tissue massage and then had my final adjustment before my surgery. Dr. Howe wished me luck and then sent me on my way. I picked up lunch for Brendan, bought my face soap and headed home. Jan called me and said that she wouldn't be flying to LA to stay with me next week after all. Something came up with her daughter. I told her that her daughter was much more important and not to worry about me. Lance (Jan's husband) gave Brendan and I a ride to the airport. Since we have gotten into LA, I have been in a daze. This all doesn't seem real to me. Time has gone by so fast. I can't believe that my surgery day is here. Now it is only a matter of hours. I hope I didn't forget anything. I have my books set out for me to read, my medication on the nightstand and my robe next to my books. I am ready. Now I just have to wait. Brendan gave me a Playboy barbell for my tongue today. He helped me put it on in the airport. I like it. It will take some time to get used to. Brendan also got me a black slip with matching hot pants, an outfit that I had been eyeballing in Playboy. I tried it on for him and it looked good, but it will look so much better after tomorrow morning. Tomorrow at lunch, I will have my new boobs. This is so surreal. I am so glad that I am not nervous. I am going to stay positive. It is all in my mind. I am going to have a great recovery. I am relaxed. Now I need some sleep. This will be the last time in a long time that I can sleep on my stomach. I can't believe that this is finally happening!
The Day!-March 31, 2000 (5:50 AM)
I woke up on my own this morning at 5:15 AM. I had to pee. Then I started worrying if I ate those strawberries last night too late. I am not supposed to eat anything 8 to 10 hours before surgery. I will be okay. Just jitters. I took a shower. I didn't put on any deoderant, lotion or makeup. I enjoyed my last shower. Many women have told me that I wont be able to take one for awhile. I tyed my hair back in a scarf and now I am sitting in the bed wearing my leopard lounge pants and one of Brendan's sweatshirts. It doesn't zip in the front. I hope that it is okay. I brought my only zip-in-front sweatshirt with me but then realized it wont fit me after this afternoon. So Brendan's sweatshirt will have to do. I was worrying about brushing my teeth (having the water in my stomach). I am sure that I will be okay with that too. I am going to have Brendan take pictures after my surgery. Here goes nothing. See you on the other side....
Post Op-March 31, 2000
Brendan and I left the house at 6:00. We wanted to make sure we got to the doctor's well before my surgery appointment. Didn't want to risk being late in the LA traffic. We ended up sitting in the car for an hour before my surgery time. I started getting butterflies and getting nervous. When it was time, we went up to the office and I filled out the necessary paperwork. I then changed into a hospital gown and went to sit on my bed and waited for my turn, with a smile. My doctor took "before" pictures and then marked my chest up. Then one of the nurse's walked me into the operating room and laid me down on the table. Both of my arms were velcroed down on each side-the left arm had the IV drip. I lifted my head a little and saw my implants laying on one of the nearby tables. I just wanted to get a peek at what would be in my body from now on. One of the nurses came over and put a mask on my face. He told me that it was just oxygen. It was cold and heavy. That is all I remember. The next time I woke up, I was dazed. I kept hearing Brendan talking to me but I couldn't open my eyes fully or respond. I do remember seeing my chest wrapped with bandages. It looked much bigger then before. All I felt like doing was going to sleep. The nurse wheeled me out to the car and Brendan drove me home safely. The drive home was uncomfortable. All I wanted to do was get into bed and sleep. I don't remember much else. I think Brendan took some pictures and Brendan's mom came in and looked at my bandages. I was out for the count the rest of the day. Brendan came up with a great idea. Instead of forcing me to sit up each time I had to drink water, he pulled out an Ironman "camel hump". It's a backpack with a plastic pouch inside that holds water and a tube that you suck the water from the pack through. Hikers use it. It was such a great idea and worked wonderfully. I recommend it to evrybody!
Post Op-April 1, 2000-Day #2
Today was April Fool's day but I was in no condition to joke around. I had to go to the doctor's at 10 am. The elevator ride up made me sick. My doctor said that I was doing great and took my bandages off. It was the first time I got to see my breasts. They are so big and the left breast has a bruise on the inside. Dr. Linder put a band over the top of my breasts to push the muscle down and covered my stitches with cotton and medical tape. I spent the rest of the day flat on my back and pucked up everything I ate. Everywhere I went (even in the bathroom), I had to carry my big white puke bowl. Anytime I wanted to sit up, Brendan was there to help me. I have never need my pillows fluffed so much in my life. I don't think I have ever been so uncomfortable in my life. It was too uncomfortable to sleep, too uncomfortable to sit up and read. It was even too uncomfortable to watch TV. I kept looking out the window at the beautiful sunshine and wished I could be outside enjoying it. I knew that it was a painful price that I had to pay now but would be rewarded once I healed-just in time for summer! All day long, Brendan kept trying to feed me crackers, bread and fruit. Nothing would stay down. Then there would be times when I needed help to sit up because I felt like I was going to puke. Then it would seem like forever waiting for something to happen. This happened a couple of times. Brendan had to finally help me by sticking his fingers down my throat-just to get things moving. Later on in the evening, Brendan called the doctor because him and his parents were worried about me and I was scared to eat because I thought I would puke it all up again. The doctor said that it was still the anesthesia and that I should be better by the next day. The doctor suggested that I try yogurt and pudding. I was able to watch a movie later in the evening but I kept waking up during the night. Brendan didn't get much sleep and neither did I.
Post Op-April 2, 2000-Day #3
Today, Brendan and I spent most of the day sitting outside in the shade. My doctor also told me to put my small sports bra with the zipper in the front on. Boy was that a challege. The bra makes my cleavage look great. I have never filled out a sports bra so well before! I ate my first meal. We went to Marie Callendars with Brendan's dad because I was craving a turkey pot pie. It was so good. I ate almost half of it. I didn't eat most of the turkey because it was too much for me to handle. While sitting in the restaurant though, I kept bouncing. For some reason I couldn't sit still and my back was very uncomfortable. I am getting around so much better though. I can open the fridge by myself and walk around and sit up without Brendan's help. Some doors are still to heavy to open but I am making a lot of progress! I keep telling myself that the more I do on my own, the faster I will recover and feel better. Anyime Brendan or his parents try to help me, I tell them that I want to do it on my own. I am being very hard-headed in that way. But I know my limits. I wont try to defy the doctor. That would be stupid of me!
Post Op-April 3, 2000-Day #4
Brendan and I got out today and went to the Del Amo mall. He ended up buying me a black vinyl dress. I wasn't up to trying much on and wore out easily. We went back to Marie Callendars for lunch since I was craving another turkey pot pie. This time, I shared half of my salad with Brendan and atealmost all of my pot pie and the turkey. It was so good. Today was also the day that Brendan had to fly back to San Jose. Brendan had to fly back early because his spring break was one week earlier then mine and he couldn't miss work. After his parents and I dropped him off at the airport, we went back home. I went into his room and tried to read my book, but I couldn't help but cry. I was so incredibly sad. he is my partner. How was I going to survive the rest of the week in LA alone with his family? I knew that I could call him anytime I wanted and could chat with him through Yahoo Messenger, but it wasn't the same. This would be the first time we have ever been apart for so long.
Post Op-April 7, 2000-Week 2
I survived! I managed the whole week away from Brendan. I ended up actually having a lot of fun with his parents. I spent a lot of time talking to them. His mom and I went shopping and had a lunch together-just the two of us. I learned a lot of cute stories about Brendan in his childhood. I have stored them for future reference! I even managed to get into one of the nearby salons and dye my hair back to its brunette self. My hair is still really fried, but at least the color matches my skin now. Today, I also had another doctor appointment. I had some stitches taken out, but I have to come back to LA next Saturday to get the rest out. I was really sad to have to finally fly back home today. But let me tell you about my flight home on American Airlines. What a nightmare. Brendan's parents and I arrived at the gate an hour and half before my flight was scheduled to leave. Brendan's mom spoke with one of the guys running the gate counter. She explained to him that I had just had surgery and was not able to carry my own bags. She told him that I would need help with my bags and that I needed to board before they did the general boarding of the plane. He understood and took my ticket. He told her that my name would be called so that I could be one of the first to board. We waited and waited. Finally, they started to board the plane. They began general boarding of the rows. No one running the gate ever announced my name to preboard. Brendan's mom and I went to the desk to ask what was going on. The guy who we had originally spoke with had lost my ticket. That is why my name was never announced. Finally, someone else working the desk found my ticket and told me to cut through the crowd in order to board. So Brendan's parents and I pushed our way through the crowd with my bags. I was terrified of someone hitting me in the chest so I held my arms up to block myself. The lady at the gate was rude and treated me like I was a nuisance. I still had to find someone to help me with my bags. In a huff, the lady at the gate took my bags herself and walked them down the runway. She bitched and complained the whole time that this was something that I had to work out before hand. I laughed and told her that I had made previous arrangements but it was the people who were working the gate who screwed the whole thing up. She didn't have much to say after that. She put both my bags above seat 8A. My seat was 19A. I told her thank you and asked her if there would be someone to help me once I landed in San Jose. She said that there would be someone. Once I sat down, I flagged down one of the flight attendants and explained to her my situation. I told her that I wanted to make sure that I would have help getting my bags off the plane once we landed in San Jose. She assured me that I would have help. Once the plane had landed in San Jose, I waited for everyone to deboard the plane. As I sat and watched the people go by, I noticed a woman holding a blue backpack towards the front of the plane. Something told me that she had my backpack. I watched her as she stared at the backpack and held up the entire plane in the process. I thought about saying something, but then decided not to. What if that wasn't even my bag? I would have felt stupid for yelling at her. Finally the last person had deboarded the plane. I looked for a flight attendant. None of them were insight. I walked up to where my bags were and noticed that my backpack was gone. I panicked. That woman had taken my backpack instead of taking hers which was in the next bin over. I walked over to one of the flight attendants and told her that a lady had taken my backpack by accident and asked if someone was going to help me with my other bag. She quickly told me that it wasn't her job to help passengers with their bags and that I had to have previous arrangements and call skycab. I flipped out. I told her that I had made the arrangements back in LA and had verified with two other American Airline personnel, including one of the flight attendants about my situation. She grabbed my bag that hadn't been swapped and dragged it down the aisle of the plane. I quickly walked off the plane and notified the people at the gate that a woman on the plane had taken my bag by accident instead of taking hers and that I still needed help getting my other bag off the aircraft. Finally, a male flight attendant got my back for me and brought it to the gate. I was pissed at this point. I had never felt such discrimination. Why wouldn't anyone believe that I had just had surgery and needed help? It was hard enough to ask for help in the first place. I couldn't believe how unhelpful everyone working with this flight had been. I ended up getting my backpack later in the evening. The woman had realized that she had the wrong bag and came to swap hers. I ran into her and briefly spoke with her. She was very nice and apologetic. She told me that she had had a BA too! What a coincidence. But it was still a pain in the ass to lose my backpack in the first place and then have to come all the way back to the airport. So much for having a happy homecoming.
Post Op-April 8, 2000-Week 2
I had a mental breakdown today. It seemed like everything had been building up. Since I flew in last night, Brendan and I have been in a constant bicker. We tried to go clothes shopping today and nothing fit or looked right. I was bloated and in pain. I felt horrible. During the middle of the afternnon today, I decided to try and take a bath on my own. Up to this point, I hadn't been able to take a shower on my own. Brendan had been helping me by giving me sponge baths and then washing my hair by hanging my head over the tub, but I never felt clean enough. I ran my own water with bubbles and got into the bath. Brendan came in the bathroom to talk to me and ask me why I wouldn't let him help me. I tried to get myself out of the tub but couldn't lift my body up. That is when I lost it. I started crying and sobbing like crazy. That is when we both realized why I had been so down. I am not used to people helping me. I like being independent and doing things on my own. I am used to being the one who helps others, not the person receiving help. Since my surgery, I have had to rely on people to help me with basic daily functions. I didn't realize how upsetting it was to me to have to be helped until this point. I sobbed for a long time while Brendan hugged me. I told him that I was emabarassed for needing so much help and that I wanted to do as much as I could on my own. I wasn't upset about having my surgery, I was just having a difficult time accepting the fact that I had to depend on someone else for the time being. After I let it all out and voiced my thoughts, Brendan helped me finish my bath. We both felt so much better and instantly stopped bickering. I had a vague idea before my surgery that I would need help, but I had no idea just how much help I would need or how much I would have to depend on Brendan and his family. It was wonderful to get all those feelings out of my system. Later on that evening, a big group of us drove to the city to celebrate our friend, Lisa's birthday. She loved the Betty Paige bracelette Brendan and I had got for her in Hermosa Beach. I knew she would love it as soon as I found it. The others decided to spend the rest of the evening out dancing, but I had to dragged my tired self home to sleep. I am not quite myself so no dancing queen for me yet.
Post Op-April 9, 2000-Week 2
Today was wonderful. Brendan and I had breakfast with our friends Sil and Kurtis. Then somehow, we ended up at Valley Fair mall. We met up with our other friend, Mike. All three of us spent the rest of the afternoon roaming from store to store, shopping. It seems like every store I went into, I found something great to try on. Everything I tried on looked beautiful with my new breasts. For once, I was happy to be shopping and trying on clothes. My favorite part was when the three of us went into Wet Seal. All three of us spotted this hot black pantsuit with a halter top and deep plunge cleavage line. I tried it on and walked out of the dressing room to show the guys. The guys loved it and so did I. I think I pissed off all the girls in the area because of my need for no bra. Not only did it dip into my well-endowed cleavage area, but it showed off my great bare back. It was obvious that I wasn't wearing a bra. Brendan got me the suit and a great silver dress that shows off my back again. It is so nice to wear all these things now and not have to worry about finding a way to hide a bra. I left the mall with four dresses, three shirts, a pantsuit and two pairs of shoes. It was such a great experience. For dinner, we met up with a couple of friends and ate at House of Gengi (one of my favorite places). It was a wonderful way to end the weekend and my week long vacation from work and school.
Post Op-April 12, 2000-Week 2
Well, now I am back into the swing of things. I am back to work and attending class. I have a ton of school work to do from now on and until the end of the semester so I wont be able to update my journal often. I will keep updating it once a week. Brendan bought our plane tickets last night. I have another doctor appointment this coming Saturday. I will be getting the rest of my stitches taken out. And since we will be in LA, Brendan and I plan to do some shopping in Hollywood. I can't wait for that shopping experience. I have been dreaming about shopping in Hollywood for months. Now, this weekend, my dream will come true. I can't wait! I'm so excited! Since Monday, I have been taking showers on my own. I can lift my arms up, but I can only do it slowly. There is still a bunch of pressure around my chest, but it is much more manageable now. I still have to take a vicadin in order to sleep at night and I still get tired easy. Everyday, all day long, I have to wear my small sports bra with a zipper front and the band around my back and over my chest. Now, my breasts are in the forming stage. The bra pushes my breasts together to form cleavage and the band helps to push the pec muscles down. I can't wait until I am all healed. It is tough to find shirts that cover the sports bar straps and the beautiful surgical band. Life will be more beautiful and comfortable after my recovery. I have to watch what I carry in my backpack. I am still restricted on carrying a lot of weight. It hurts to sneeze and shiver. The nipple area is sensitive, but I have plenty of feeling. At no time did I ever lose feeling in my nipples. I still haven't talked to my mom. She has tried to call and sent me an email last Sunday, but I haven't responded. I will respond in time. I am just not ready to listen to her lecture. Plus, I am still hurt that she didn't try to contact me before my surgery. I am more important right now. When I am ready, I will make contact with her. I have been getting lots of wonderful compliments on my website. I didn't think many people would read this. I have found this site to help me deal with my recovery. I have also found this site to be very helpful. I have a couple of friends now who are interested in getting their own BA. I refer them to my site and Nicole's site first. If they are still interested, I have them come over and share all my research findings with them. I don't know what is more fun, having and learning from my own BA or helping someone else research theirs. Guess I found a new hobby!
Post Op-April 19, 2000-Week 3
Well, now I am in my third week of having my new boobs. Brendan and I went to see Dr. Linder last Saturday (April 15th). The doctor removed the rest of my stitches. He told me that I have the 480 size implant. I wanted to know exact ccs in each implant, but he didn’t have the info. I’ll have it next week. He gave me permission to start working out light lower body only. In three weeks, I can stop wearing my sports bra and band and in two weeks, I can start taking birth control again. I forgot to ask him about tanning-when and how I can in order to avoid messing with my scars. I am getting pale as a ghost again. My next appointment to see Dr. Linder is Saturday, May 20th. At this appointment, he will take the after photos. He said that he took extra photos so I will have my very own copies! While we were in LA, Brendan and I did some major shopping. We went to Hollywood Blvd. and Del Amo mall. It was so wonderful to look great in all the dresses and tops I tried on-without a bra. No longer do I have to worry about finding the right bra to wear with my clothes or will I ever have to wear a padded bra again. If I wanted to, I can even go braless in most of the stuff I got and get away with it! I also got my first post-op underwire bra on Saturday. It is a 36 D. I fill it out so much I almost thought I needed a DD. That is how full of a D I am. I can’t wait until I can wear my new things. I am limited on what I can wear right now because of the white sports bra and band on top. It isn’t too attractive or fashionable, but I’ll manage. Three weeks sounds so long away. I forgot to take pictures for my one week post-op, but I took my two week post-op pictures. The bruise on my left breast is fading fast, I can lift my arms up over my head slowly, I can carry my backpack without any discomfort and my scars are healing beautifully. Also, I don’t have to take a vicadin in order to sleep at night anymore!!! I can sleep on either of my sides but not my chest. The pressure is pretty much gone in my chest area, but it still hurts to sneeze. I also have a hard time pushing myself up. It is still weird to feel my breasts against my arms. I am not used to having breasts spilling out of my sides yet. Oh I love them so much! I think back to the first two days after surgery and smile about how far I’ve come. I talked with my mom on Monday. We are friends again. She is no longer mad at me for having my surgery. She says she still doesn’t support it, but she isn’t going to hold it against me. I can tell that she had talked with my dad. She was very calm. And when she started to work herself up about the surgery, I would politely change the subject. To her, my 36 D’s sound huge, but I know she will be impressed once she sees them. Talking to her made me feel so much better. It would have been awful to not have my mom approve of me because I decided to have a breast augmentation. But now I don’t have to worry about that! I now have three friends who are seriously considering having breast augmentations. I can’t wait to help them all on their research. Wish I could find a job where I could help and talk to women all day long about having breast augmentations.
Post Op-April 24, 2000-Week 4
This Saturday, I will have had my boobs for a whole month. They don’t hurt anymore. Sometimes, the incision area (around the nipple) will irritate me because it is so extremely sensitive, but no pain. The incision on my right breast is almost all healed. Next week, I will start applying vitamin e to the area. The left incision is healing a lot slower. I still have a little stuff oozing out. I hope it starts to heal soon. I am a little worried that it may scar and scab into something ugly. Why can’t it heal pretty like the right side. My boobs still feel tight. I have been massaging them each 100 times a day each morning. I think I will massage them 100 times each before I go to bed. My bruise is gone. I still have that little sharp pain in between my breasts when I laugh. The doctor said that would eventually fade away. Now, I can sneeze really hard and it doesn’t even faze me anymore. It still hurts to shiver though. I was bumped into on Saturday night, but it didn’t hurt. Slowly, I am feeling normal again. This is the last week I have to wear the band across my chest, over the muscle. I can’t wait to take this thing off. It itches. It’s tight. It stinks. The Velcro gets caught on everything and it limits me on what tops I can wear. I have so many sexy little tops but I can’t wear them yet or else I’ll have this white ugly band showing. Julie from Dr. Linder’s office called to inform me that I have 535 ccs in my left implant and 520 ccs in my right. Sounds like a lot, but everyone who has seen them says they are very proportionate to my body. I have no complaints either! Last Saturday (April 22nd), Sil, Brendan and I all went out to Dave and Busters and met up with a group of guy friends. I was the only girl, darn! :) It took me an hour to decide what to wear. This was my first official time going out with my new chest and wanted to make sure I dressed accordingly. I posted the pictures on the photos page of what I finally decided to wear. The guys and I had a lot of fun. Brendan spent some of the evening in the bathroom, puking. He had the stomach flu. While Brendan was in the bathroom, Sil and I just watched and laughed at people who walked by staring at my chest. We just stood off to the side somewhere and watched people (girls and guys) check my chest out. It was a lot of fun. At one point in the evening, the guys all decided to go shoot hoops. Nobody was getting any of the balls in. I decided to give it a shot. I only got one ball in. The guys were sticking their tongues out at me because the guy running the game kept giving me free games. My womanpower was working overtime. I loved all the attention!!! Sil and Brendan were giving me pointers on how to work the bartenders for free drinks. I didn’t try because I still am not allowed to drink alcohol yet. Maybe in a couple months. Easter was fun. I got a bunch of plastic eggs, filled them with candy and made the guys (Rob, Brendan and Sil) go on an Easter Egg hunt for them while I finished my biology homework. I tried not to eat too much candy. I haven’t been to the gym yet. Hopefully, I will start going again this week. In two weeks, I can take my sports bra off for good. Then I’ll have to go bra shopping. As of right now, I only have one 36 D bra. Brendan keeps pushing me to go bikini shopping, but I feel so out of shape. I need to push my butt into the gym this week.
Post Op-April 28, 2000-Week 4
Whoo Hoo!! Today marks the one month anniversary of my BA! I am no longer in any pain. I can laugh and sneeze all I want and as hard as I want and it no longer hurts. Last night, I went to the chiropractor's and laid on my chest for the first time. It didn't hurt. It just felt like there were two water balloons in my chest though. Dr. Linder says that that feeling will go away in time and eventually they will feel like my own. Maybe sometime in the next couple of months. My left breast's incision is still not closed. This morning it was oozing a bit in two small places. I tried changing the cotton gauzes everyday. Then I tried bandaids. I considered putting rubbing alcohol on them, but decided to wait and call the doctor first. I hope it doesn't scar ugly. The other incision is all sealed up and is fading fast. I am really concerned about the left though. Tomorrow, I take off my band forever. I can't wait. I will take a picture of it and then bury that old stinky thing for good! Finally, I can start wearing more v-necks shirts. Next week, I take off my sports bra for good and start wearing normal bras. I plan to save my "braless" appearances for special occasions like when I go out dancing with something backless. I don't want to start sagging yet! The email March Support list has dwindled done significantly. I maybe get a couple emails a day. A lot of people have either left the list or are just too busy enjoying their new additions. I strongly urge all you pre-oppers to join an email list if you haven't already. The March Support group helped me out so much. Anytime I had a question or concern, I could voice it and get an immediate response. Also, it is a good source to hear first hand experiences of women whom are going through the same thing as you. I strongly recommend everyone join a list that is for the month they are scheduled to have surgery. You will be glad that you did. You can find lists to join under the discussion forum on Nicole's website. The link to her site is on my Links page. Well, I am going to finish updating this website. I added more post-op pictures, more links and of course this journal entry today. Check out the whole site and pass it on to anyone whom you feel could benefit from learning about my experiences. Take care and have a great week!
Post Op-May 5, 2000-Week 5
Well, finally these babies are starting to feel like they are really a part of me. I don't "feel" them as much as I did before. They are just there now. I only feel them whenever I run, jump (don't do too much of that yet!), shiver or whenever I put my arms down to my sides. I am still having a hell of a time with my incision on the left breast. Sunday and Monday, I went all day without my sports bra. I had to air the area out so it could scab over. Finally, the bigger area did. Now I have one little spot that oozes anytime I uncover the area. So now instead of changing the cotton I use to cover the scab, I am just leaving it on until it heals completley. I stopped taking showers. Now I take baths and don't get any of the left breast wet. It sucks, but this is what I have to do. Doctor's orders. My boyfriend and I met up with a big group of friends last night for dinner. I was naughty and wore my baby blue halter without a bra, even though I am not supposed to go without the sports bra until Saturday. I couldn't help it. It was only for a few hours. Boy are they big without the sports bra. They aren't too big or too small. Just right and perfect. I am so happy with my decision to go through with the surgery. Money well spent! So besides my left incision, my life and body is finally getting back to normal. Work is crazy. The semester at school is wrapping up. A bunch of us are headed up to Sacramento this weekend for the races-LT1s versus LS1s. A bunch of us from NorCal LS1 are going to caravan all the way up there. I will be bringing my camera. What a beautiful site that will be. This will be the first day where I can wear a normal bra again. Still haven't decided on what I am going to wear. Finals are right around the corner and then summer will be here. I keep thinking back to how I was the first few days after surgery. I knew I would get better and never regret having the surgery. I was right! Happy Cinco De Mayo everyone and be safe.
Post Op-May 12, 2000-Week 6
Wow, I can't believe it has been six weeks since my surgery. Time is just flying by. I still haven't gone to the gym yet. I have been so bad about this! That is it, I am going tomorrow morning. :) Last weekend, Brendan and I went to Victoria's Secret. I got two new bras. One of them is the Body by Victoria. It feels like I'm not wearing a bra. It is so comfortable. I never knew wearing a bra could be so comfortable. I had to change my appointment to see Dr. Linder from Saturday, May 20th to Saturday, May 27th. I forgot that I had finals the week before we were scheduled to go to LA. So now our trip is postponed a week. Oh well. My scar on the left breast is finally starting to heal up. The big scab came off last night. I was so worried, but instead of bleeding, it was normal and closed up. So the biggest part of the scab is finally healed. All the other little areas are closed and healing. I feel so much better! Last night, Brendan and I went out dancing the first time since my surgery. It was wonderful. I wore my black halter pant suit and a long, red wig (look under photos for the pictures). I love the pant suit. I don't have to wear a bra and it shows my new cleavage nicely. Brendan and I had a great time. While we were sitting and resting from dancing, we kept noticing "fake boobs". I was so excited. I felt like I was in a secret club. Every now and then, I would make eye contact with a fellow sister and she would smile extra big or wink. I have also noticed that my self-confidence has gone through the roof since my BA. Not in a bad way. For example, I saw this beautiful blonde woman at the club last night and she was wearing this killer top. I wanted to compliment her on her top and ask her where she got it but was hesitant for some reason. Brendan told me to just go and ask her, that it was no big deal. He was right. So I just got up and walked right up to her. She was really friendly and told me where she got it. I don't think I could have gone right up to a girl I didn't know before and give her such a compliment. And hey, I get my drinks served to me faster and stronger now. Why do you think all my guy friends send ME to get their drinks? Some people tell me that using my boobs to get me things is slutty and shows no class. But my response is that these "things" are a novelty right now. They are my new toys and I want to play with them. I know and all my friends know who I really am. The newness will wear off and then I wont be so "in-your-face-with-them". Besides, life is short and you are only young once. I didn't buy these things and go through my surgery just so I could cover them up. I am not going to go around and flash everybody either. But I don't care if it is obvious that I had my boobs done. That was kind of the point. No one really expects them to look 100% natural. I am just having fun. And if it gets me in front of long lines, free drinks or VIP treatment then it makes my going out experience all that much better for me! Dancing was a blast and it didn't hurt at all. But for some reason when we were leaving, I felt like my chest wasn't as big as I thought it was. I guess it is a combination of being used to the size now and seeing all the other "big boobs". I still love them. They are the perfect size. I don't wish that I would have gone bigger or smaller. I am still taking baths instead of showers. I just want to make sure that the left incision heals fully before I go getting it wet again. Also, my roommate Sil is in LA this weekend for a conference. He alled me at work today to let me know that he was waiting in line to meet Heather Kozar (Playboy Playmate of the Year 1999). He said that he was going to ask her to sign her PMOY issue magazine for Brendan and I and would tell her that she was part of my inspiration and motivation during my BA. It totally made my day. He got pictures too. I will post them as soon I get them!
Post Op-May 19, 2000-Week 7
This week was a very interesting week for me. Sunday, I went back into the gym and began my get-in-shape-girl routine. I skipped working out Monday morning because I was too tired to drag my lazy ass out of bed and I was beat from the day before. But I haven't missed a day since! I have a lot of variety in my workout routine-step class, 1/2 hour sessions on the Precor, lower body weight training and abs. I haven't really touched upper body weight training yet. I am kind of scared too. I don't want to hurt anything. But I can handle everything else no problem. Boy do I fill out my sportsbras now. It's incredible. On Sunday, I was doing my ab work and could see my belly button through my cleavage. It was weird. The incision on my left breast has finally healed for good. There are still some small scabs. But they are both almost ready to have vitamin e oil treatments on the scar. I will probably start applying vitamin e next week. I had an embarrassing moment in the gym locker room a couple of days ago. I had just gotten out of the shower and was massaging my breasts. There wasn't anyone else in the area. Then all of a sudden, this woman walked in and stared at me really weird. I continued on with my massages because I didn't want her to think that I was doing something wrong. Even after she satarted her shower, she kept looking at me through her curtain. From now on, I will do my massages in the shower stall, with the curtain closed. I wish she would have said something. Then I could have explained to her what I was doing and why. She probably thought I was feeling myself up. Oh well. Brendan says that I touch my boobs all the time in public and people are always looking at me weird. I honestly don't even notice when I do it until he points it out to me. I spoke with other ladies about this. Apparently, it is a common habit among augmented women. So ladies, don't feel weird or embarassed. It is perfectly normal! :) Wednesday, I started tanning again. As you can see in the before/after pics, I have lost my color considerably. Life is slowly getting back to normal again. I had a friend go in this morning for her BA. I was nervous for her! All my feelings and memories of my surgery came back. I have come so far in such a short period of time. These seven weeks have whizzed by. I told her that the recovery time will whiz by for her as well. I have another friend going in next month for her BA. She is using my PS. I am so excited for them both! Did I mention that I love my new twins yet this week? Oh, well then-I do!! Doh! I still haven't posted the Heather Kozar pic of her signing my mag. I will do that this week. Finals next week-yuck!
Post Op-May 26, 2000-Week 8
I can't believe today is my two month anniversary of me having my breast aug. How incredible. I have come so far in this short time. It seems like time really flew by. I made a lot of progress this week. I have kept up my workout routine. I alternate days with step class and then either upper or lower body weight training. On the weight training days, I always add a half-hour of Precor. I have to get in that aerobic activity if I want to shake my problem areas. I was scared to start upper body. I haven't even touched that area in a whole two months. But I did a half-hour session of upper body on Tuesday. I am still sore, but it felt good. I am also using this stretch machine that helps you do open your legs and do the splits. I started out only getting my legs to 90. Today I got up to 118. The goal is to do the splits and that means getting to 180. Maybe in a month or two! I do my massages in the shower now so I don't have any more embarassing stories this week. I also started applying the vitamin e oil on my scar area every night before I go to bed. The oil has helped a lot. I can already see the area fading. It hasn't even been a week yet. Today, Brendan, Lisa and I are all leaving for LA for this 3-day weekend. We are driving down (have to return Brendan's parent's car) and then we will fly back Monday night. I am excited. Tomorrow morning, Lisa and I have joint appointments with Dr. Linder. I get to have my "after" pics taken and then a once check over to make sure things are healing right and then I don't have to see him for another three months (I think). Lisa is going in to get her consultation. We are both excited. She sees how much fun I have with my boobs and that makes her even more pumped for her surgery. I think she scheduled it for June 16th. Just around the corner. I told Dr. Linder that if he did a good job (which I knew he would) that I would send him business. I plan on sending him many more. :) We are also going to show Lisa Hollywood. Maybe I'll get another costume? Then we plan on doing some major clubbing Saturday and Sunday night. I will take plenty of pictures and post the good ones on the site. I am still tanning. I feel and look so much better. I also got a bunch of Playboy bunny stickers and tanning with those. I have it right above my bikini area on the right side. It looks cool and Brendan loves it. You can see it when I wear my bikini. Something different. Well, I am all packed and ready for the weekend. I get to leave work at noon. I have some last minute errands and then all three of us are going to be on the road by 2:30-3. By the way, today I am going braless. What a treat! My shape is so perfect that I don't need a bra, but it still isn't something I do everyday. I don't want them to sag! The Heather Kozar signing picture is up along with some fun pictures of me in one of my black vinyl outfits and purple wig. I didn't get a whole lot of dancing in that night, but I sure had fun dressing up! Take care. Be safe this weekend and have fun!